Wednesday, January 20, 2010

The Truth

That word has been on my mind and heart a lot lately.  TRUTH.  I just wanted to get these concepts out there so I can remember them, and perhaps get a little insight from you all.

I know that there is truth and there is fiction.  We try to pretend that there is a gray area... an in-between.  But there isn't.  Something is either true, or false.  Real or fake.  And if it is only partially true, then it is really false because it isn't completely true.  Black and white.  One or the other.

For women's bible study this year we are reading "Lies Women Believe".  And while I don't think I believe many lies, my actions say otherwise.  I live like I believe these lies.  There must be some way to erase the lies and write only truth onto my heart - but it doesn't come easy.  God is working on me, that much is clear -- but as always it is a process and not an instant fix.  Darn.  ;)

A few examples of the lies and truth that have been rolling around in my head this week:

Does my husband need me to be his helper by nagging or taking control, or am I to fulfill the role of help-mate quietly and from the background?

Is the purpose of being a parent to control the behavior of children so they become kids that are easy to be around, or to nurture and discipline them so they grow into adults who make a difference and are nice to be around?

Was marriage designed to make us happy, or to hone us and sharpen us through a convenant?

Is food intended to bring guilt and shame, or enjoyment and fulfillment?

Does my husband need MORE love from me, or does he thirst for RESPECT instead?

Would our purpose be to change our situation to make ourselves happiest, or to change ourselves to bring happiness to others?

Ahhh... I feel better.  Obviously these are lies (when you write them out it becomes very apparent), and the truth is what follows the word OR, but in day to day life - how many times do our actions speak of the lie that has deceived us?  "You wronged ME.  You have made ME unhappy and must be punished until I am happy again.  It is all about ME."   I would never say these words aloud, but when my children won't obey - that is what my actions say.  When I don't feel my needs have been met, I don't look for a way to meet others needs - instead I feel self-pity.

It makes my stomach turn to even think about it.  I just don't want to be the woman who puts herself as most important in her life.  Self-less not self-ish.  Truthful.

Now I repeat these truths to myself whenever I can, and try to remind myself of the person I long to be - so that I can make baby steps toward that goal.

Any lies you have been believing?  Put them out there - and call them what they are.  Let's remind each other of the truth!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010


The weeks and months just seem to zoom by and I suddenly remember, "I have a blog!"  LOL!  Am I the only one who feels like a day can drag on endlessly and yet be gone in a blink at the same time?!?  Hmm... Maybe that is my hormones talking...

We had an at home day today to try and catch up a bit.  I really don't like days at home.  I get cabin fever instantaneously.  Like, if I know I am going to be home all day, I have this itch to go out somewhere from 7am on!  Because I know I'm not.  I wish that didn't happen, but it does.

ANYway, back to my update.  I broke out the ladybug tent, took the girls outside, had them "help" me fold laundry, and broke out the Color Wonder markers - all in an effort to keep them occupied for more than three seconds.  The markers seemed to work the best...

Does anyone else LOVE this invention?!?  I am sure there is something toxic about them that we just don't know about yet, but they are amazing.  I have a hard time even placing crayons in the hands of my two year old (this only happens if I know a fresh Magic Eraser waits under the counter.  Another amazing invention that I am sure must be bad for us in some way!), let alone markers.  And since Paige would rather take all the caps on and off then do much actual coloring, these work out great for Mommy and her!

Lauren is doing much better about wanting to color in the lines, and wanting to color an entire picture, not just the tiniest things on the page!

She now declares that she has three favorite Princesses: Aurora, Ariel and Snow White.  Aurora because she wears pink (shocker), Ariel because she lives with fish, and Snow White because... she's new.

And that is marketing tactics working their magic people!

We also embarked on another adventure this week --

I am trying the "undies only while we are home" as potty training for Paige.  We had two accidents in the first four hours.  *sigh*  But, we are on our way.  I just hope to have the majority of it accomplished before baby #3 gets here.  I am sure six months is not long enough, but we will give it the old college try!

Speaking of #3, I am having crazy craving moments with this pregnancy.  I never really had more than the occasional craving before.  This is like, "I MUST EAT CHEESE, NOW!!!"  Still, pickles are my #1 craving as before, but I have also had garlic, salami, soup, salad dressing, and sugar.  Individually, not together.  No weird combinations for me!  I could go for some soup right now though!!!

While we were waiting for the mac-n-cheese to cook at lunch today I grabbed a few shots of my beauties.  I am trying to teach myself how to edit RAW images instead of just JPEGs, so this was my first effort.  It was not nearly as difficult as I imagined, and RAW lends to so much more editing possibilities!  I plan to work on it a lot more and shoot all in RAW by March!  I find it funny though, that by editing these individually - I liked Lauren so much cooler and Paige so much warmer.  Just goes to show my inconsistencies!

With that, I am off to have a pickle!

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Ten on Tuesday - the things you missed while I was MIA

1. Wow! What a month December turned out to be! I was literally buried underneath a to-do list that just never got done. Today, I managed to get the critical things off of that list, so now I can trickle in some fin things like blogging while I try to tackle the rest of that ever-growing list! So todays TonT is all the things I don't want to leave out from this last month!

2. We kept our tradition of building a gingerbread house this year, and it turned out to be quite the elaborate undertaking!!!

3. Then there was a trip to Payson to visit with family, which is always fun!

4. We baked cookies for Santa... and ourselves. ;o) Here are the girls not-so-patiently watching the mixer do its thing:

and then enjoying the fruits of their labor!

That has to be my favorite picture of the month!

5. On Christmas Eve, Lauren played the angel in the nativity scene -- I will try to upload a little video of that another day! Then we went to Jen & Shawn's to enjoy a family dinner.

6. Of course, Christmas morning at home was a blast. We love watching the kids be all excited, while the smell of sticky buns and coffee lingers in the air. :o)

7. Then we drove to Las Vegas to see my family for a couple of days - one of which included a trip to see the light display at Ethel M's chocolate factory. So fun, and a free sample to boot! YUM!

8. We came home and received our new iMac the next day. I would just like to say, if you are hesitating to make the switch to a mac product because you think you have to relearn everything... I would say just go TRY one! I am amazed how quickly I have become comfortable with the typical daily functions - I still have a lot to learn, but it is much easier than I was anticipating. And this thing is just awesome! Love it! Love!!!

9. We also managed to sell Lauren's old bedroom furniture, which meant running to the store for paint and calling in a very reliable friend for help so that we could paint and get the new furniture in place in ONE DAY. Yay! Here is the result:

Yes, it is very pink. But Lauren loves it, and I actually like it! It doesn't feel overwhelming when you are in the room, it just feels warm and girly. It's fun, and we like fun! I also love having real color on the walls and not just a hint... it feels like much more of a statement. Maybe the girls' statement is, "I am a princess, hear me roar!" ;o)

10. We also bought a new desk and took over a little corner of the playroom as my "office". It is too messy in here for a picture today, but I will get one up soon. It has been really nice to have a space where I can be near the kids and get some work done too. They love it and so do I!

Hope you all had a wonderful christmas and New Year! I hope to be writing much more very soon!