January 2

January 1 - One Big Tea Party

Who you are

To be honest, I have been struggling in my photography business.  The business itself is doing very well, it was my busiest and most profitable year so far -- which isn't saying too much, but still worth saying.  But deep down inside I have been struggling.  I wanted to get into this art form because I love photographs of genuine moments!  I love images that bring the viewer emotion.  That move you.  That show you a little taste of who that person really is.  Hence my tagline, "just the way you are".  Hmm...

Fast forward two years and here I am, in the midst of a growing business that is bringing in more sessions than I anticipated doing so soon.  Yay!  That is so exciting, and I am truly honored to be chosen by so many families to document where they are right now.  

But, I am not feeling the passion I once experienced with photography.  I love meeting the families, getting to know them, watching them interact with each other.  I love people!  I really do.  Each one is like no other, each one created and loved by God, each one special to someone else.  That is the story I want to tell with my photography!  But, my clients and I aren't getting there.  Somehow, the mall portrait studios of the world have brainwashed us all to wear the same colors, line up, put our hands the same way, and smile at the camera.  There is nothing wrong with smiling and looking at the camera!  But, I would be so bold as to say that "smile" 90% of the time is... FAKE.  And not just at the camera... on a daily basis.  Yesterday, at the neighbor whose dog was barking at 6AM, or answering "good" to "how are you" when you have truly had a bad day.  We have all gotten very good at pretending to look happy!  And we are taught it from a very early age:

Photo "A" was the first of a series I took of Paige the morning of her birthday party.  Does she look happy to you?  Not really.  If you look at her mouth alone it looks like a smile.  Mostly.  And if I didn't know her, I might be convinced.  But, I have seen her real smile so many times that I know this is not it.  Photo "B" was taken playing at the beach.  She was looking up at Lauren running in the waves, and filthy with sand.  I had just asked her if she liked being at the ocean.  This is her real smile.  This is her joy, her sparkle, her life.  She is four.years.old.

How much better are we at faking a smile by thirty?!?

And what value do you place on a picture where you are pretending to smile, when you know in your heart of hearts nothing real or meaningful was happening at that moment?

I think this is why many people do not like having their picture taken... because they don't like the way they look?  Sort of.  I believe they don't like the way they look because they aren't feeling anything special.  If you are laughing, and feeling love toward your family, or glowing from the love of your spouse... you will look amazing.  It just happens!  Joy seeps though the pixels of that image to the eyes of the viewer and they are convinced.  They are moved by who you are, and they can really see you.  

Every person is special.  Amazing.  Remarkable.  A miracle.  Why do we want to document anything fake?!?

So, I am on a journey to figure out how to capture these real moments.  You'll probably hear a lot more from me about this topic in the near future.  I want to make some big changes, starting by including sessions recently named Beloved, to celebrate the love of married couples.  Not to say my clients won't get a traditional smile-at-the-camera image from our sessions, they WILL.  But, I hope to also give them so much more.  I hope to create an enjoyable experience.  I hope to document their real beauty, their real joy, and their real love.  

Because that is something worth remembering forever.

Paige's Party

I am shocked that it has been two weeks since I last posted!

We had a birthday part for Paige three days after her birthday, and she was SO excited!  She chose a bug theme, had a few crafts, and all in all a wonderful day!

I love this girl!  She is wild and crazy, sweet and cuddly, loves to laugh, will eat everything, and is a girl after my own heart -- she is all about the quality time together!

I love these pictures on special days - they remind me that these girls do love each other underneath all the bickering.  ;)

We made bug hats - I loved Lauren's choice of one huge eye and one teeny-tiny eye!

The bug cake that I thought was bizarre, since the writing was on the front!  But, she was really happy... with the ladybugs in particular!

And then we scarfed it up!

Then the kids dug for bugs...

and swung at the pinata!  That "game" was Paige's only special request.  My kids will do anything to get some candy.

And I was so happy I actually caught this moment:

And apparently we need to find a bigger pinata, because there was not enough candy crammed into that little donkey's body.

Oh well!  

Happy Birthday, sweet Paige-a-riffic!  

We love you and all the light and laughter you bring to our family!  

Paige is FOUR!

Okay, how did that happen?!?  I mean really?  She's four.years.old.  I have lost track of the last two years, badly!  Still seems like she should be little to me.  But, you can't stop them from growing, so I am choosing to be excited about the little girl she is becoming!  

Since her birthday was on a Wednesday, it wasn't anything to exciting... but she picked out what we would have for dinner, and was thrilled to open gifts - of course! 

This sweet face picked STEAK, bug-mac-n-cheese, cooked carrots, and bread for her dinner!

Then the frosted sprinkle cookies, much like what she had last year...

This girlie has always been into looking at her cards!  She was so intently watching how to open the envelopes.  Love that!

Her birthday haul!  Thanks Aunt Tamara, Aunt Jamie, Grandma and Grandpa Beeler, and Great Grandma Caroline!  She was thrilled with everything you sent!

Lauren was doing "only okay" (her words) with it all being about Paige yesterday.  Lucky for her she was at school for 90% of it!

Her gift from Daddy.  It is an awesome pump pop-gun with small foam balls.  The girls LOVE it!  

But somehow, I think I'm in trouble.  

;)

Thanksgiving 2011

We were able to go up to Camp Verde to visit with the extended Beeler family for Thanksgiving this year.  This is always a big event with at least 50 people, and it seriously took me five years to start getting everyones names right!  It is always nice to catch up with everyone and let the kids run around like crazy on their nice big property!

Lauren waiting patiently for the round of "what are you thankful for this year?"

Jaelyn kept busy playing with this homemade game by Great-great-uncle David.

The circle of family talking about what they are feeling grateful for.  How about a family that all gets along and continues to get together for all these years?!?

Paige and Daddy!

Digging in to the food!

Then it was time to relax and digest!  I loved this moment of Jaelyn and her cousin Tyler!  He was her age when Justin and I first got married.  Therefore, this picture makes me feel O.L.D.

Hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving!  

Thankfulness

1.  That God gave me my husband.  I can't stand to imagine my life without Justin - our marriage has gotten better every year!  I love him!!!

2.  For our three girls.  They make our family fun, wild, giggly, and messy.  I wouldn't have it any other way!

3.  For all our family.  They have loved us, supported us, laughed with us and at us!

4.  For the Swope family.  I could write ten pages about what they mean to me... but for today I will just say that I love them.  They are friends, they are family.  They have made Phoenix feel like home.

5.  Our home.  We shouldn't even have it... technically.  There was no reason the bank should have accepted our offer.  Though on my worst days there are a hundred things I would change - I love this house.  It is more than I thought we would have, living in the city!

6.  Phoenix.  Yes, you read that right - I am thankful to live in Phoenix.  This post from a local blog made me tear up.  That is SO me!  Up until about two months ago... honestly.  But, if I stop complaining and look at where I live, really look at it for what it is - we are very fortunate to live here!

7.  My business.  I adore taking pictures of people - creating an image of who they are, right at this moment.  Because you never know what tomorrow may hold.  It is my dream job, and I get to live it!

8.  Especially thankful for those people who have made a huge difference in my business!  Jaclyn, Colleen, Annie, and Katie.  Without you, and your HUGE referrals, I would not be where I am after just two years!  You are amazing women and I am so blessed to have you in my life!

9.  For Justin's job and the company he works for.  Times are tough these days, and we are so blessed that he is able to work, and to work for a smaller firm, and to have such a positive response from his leaders!

10.  Now for some fun ones... I am thankful Justin is not a neat freak.  Amen.

11.  That God gave me three girls and not boys because I am already exhausted by 5pm!

12.  Trader Joe's and CostCo, without them my shopping days would be so mundane!

13.  Boots that are lined with fleece so your don't have to wear socks!  I hate socks.

14.  Flip flops.  See above.

15.  Food and wine.  And all the variations you can enjoy with the two together.  And that God gave us an amazing ability of taste for all those things!   I <3 food.

16.  That Justin let me paint the bathroom turquoise.  I adore bright colors for rooms!  And then, he did 90% of the painting!  For that I am even more thankful.

17.  For stores that have shopping carts that contain more than one child!  What would I do without them?!?

18. Coffee.

19.  Chocolate.

20.  Apparently I have digressed... I'll wrap it up.  I'm thankful for this blog, that I can come here and put my thoughts out into the world, and that even though I don't update it like I should YOU still come here to check up on me!  You're awesome.  =)

Happy Thanksgiving,