It just seems crazy...

...to be thinking about baby Beeler #3 already, but the time has arrived.  I told Jaclyn tonight that Paige is wearing clothes that Lauren was wearing when I was pregnant last time, so that was a big wake-up call to me that the time was drawing very near!  **Disclaimer** I am not pregnant yet - but we are hoping to be so in the fall or winter.***  Just wanted to clarify that before I got a million comments.  Ha!  Don't I wish?!?  ;o)

I don't feel ready to be pregnant again, but I feel ready for the baby.  Does that sound insane?  I have been blessed so far with fairly easy pregnancies- without severe morning sickness or complications.  But somehow I still dread the idea of being preggers.  Maybe it is because I have finally lost some weight and have begun to resemble my pre-pregnancy self.  Okay, maybe not - but I am a lot closer!!!  Maybe it is because I already feel worn out halfway through the day and I know that pregnancy takes it out of me.  Afternoon naps are a must.  Maybe it is because I started this business, and I feel like that is taking the energy of a baby already.  But, I look at newborns or pictures of my own when they were brand new, and I feel so ready to cuddle one of those peanuts again!

So - the deal is, Justin really wants a boy.  But we have discussed it at length, and we both want #3 regardless of what the gender is - to complete our family.  We have done much research on ways to encourage the conception of a boy, and let me tell you the science of it all makes sense.  But, I truly believe that God will give us what is best for our family.  That being said, I also believe God knows the desires of our hearts as well, and if we are seeking Him and loving Him - He wants to bless us.  All in all, we plan on doing the science to whatever extent we can and just pray that God will bless our efforts as we recognize that it is all in His hands and that we trust Him.

I have been charting basal body temperatures and "CM" (we won't go into those details) for months now, and the conclusion... really I am all over the place!  But, I think I can tell the necessary signs beforehand, so that is a step in the right direction.  Now we have to start throwing the ovulation test kits into the mix - mostly using them to confirm what we already know.  Like I said, this is a no-holes-barred effort.  We are pulling out all the stops.  Truly, all of them... I will be giving up coffee.  COFFEE.  Meh.

Today I felt crazy with all this.  Two kids, and I am charting, and checking, and reading, and re-reading, making lists of what foods to avoid, and now testing?!?  Why bring this hassle and stress into the equation?!?  Why not just let it be what it is?  Besides, the thought of having a boy freaks me out!   They are high energy, and loud, and boisterious, and physical.  What am I going to do with a boy?!?  I never had a brother, I don't know the first thing about the little boogers.

Then Jaclyn came over for dinner tonight and she said, "Because you love your husband." 

Why does she always have to go and do that?  Be right?!?  She is so right.  I love her. 

And when I think of the joy written all over Justin's face if we have a son, it makes all the detail work worth it.  And if it's not, you ask?  That's okay too, because like I said - we have put God in control and if He gives us a girl after all this effort, we will know that is what we were meant to have!  For sure.

But let me tell you all a little secret...




I want a boy too. 

Not just because Justin wants it, not just because we don't have one already, not just because it seems like I should want one.

Because I know that there is a bond between Mother and Son like no other.  Though I hope to be very close with all my daughters and share very special times with them, a woman impacts her son in ways she can never imagine.  I have seen it in my husband, I have seen it in friends, I saw it this last weekend when my Aunt Dona danced with her baby boy at his wedding.  Hugging him so close and just loving the man he has become.  I want to have that Mother-Son dance at a wedding some day, and know that I impacted a man who loves God and is starting his own family... and will hopefully impact many generations to follow.   It is a huge responsibility but also a great honor.

If I only I didn't have to be pregnant first.  LOL!


We will have to see what is in store... but in the meantime, you might want to avoid me after the first of September.  Uncaffinated Claire is NOT fun-Claire.  Not for at least a week.  Ugh!